Back in early May, I was walking down the Danforth and noticed a sign that caught my attention. It read “A community hub for personal development and healing” and immediately, I was intrigued. This was the first time I came across the Inner Arts Collective, a community of practitioners who specialize in a wide range of healing modalities. The sign stated the many services that were offered including: traditional alternative medicine, body techniques, talk techniques, energy work, divination and several other amazing modalities.
Later that day, I went home and took a closer look at the IAC’s website. As I scrolled through the many dynamic healers, one practitioner in particular stood out to me right away. Her name was Monica Kovacs. Monica is an Integrative Sexuality Coach, certified Somatic Sex Educator, Sexological Bodyworker and De-Armouring practitioner. She has quite an extensive educational background and has studied all over the world. Monica has studied everything from Integrative Psychotherapy to Yoga, Reiki, Breathwork, Tantra, various forms of massage and more. She is also trauma informed and brings a diverse skill set into her work to help support her clients.
I had the wonderful opportunity to meet with Monica a few months later and gain first hand experience about the unique work that she does. Monica works both in person and online with individuals and couples who are looking to connect more deeply with themselves, with their bodies and embrace their sacred sexuality. She helps her clients overcome blocks such as guilt or shame and works with individuals who may struggle with a variety of common issues, some of which include difficulty with arousal and orgasm, sexual trauma and sexual shame and anxiety. Monica also teaches her clients to learn new self pleasure techniques, engage in more mindful masturbation and explore the intersection between sexuality and spirituality. She offers several different ways to engage with her clients and helps them work towards their unique goals and intentions at a pace that feels comfortable and guided by the individual.
Shaking the Stigma
Prior to meeting with Monica, I was sent a comprehensive intake form which I was to complete before our session together. The form included several different questions which helped to gather information on my background and my experiences related to my sexuality, spirituality and well being. I was asked to note my intentions and goals, as well as provide detailed information surrounding aspects of my sexual and sensual history. Additionally, several medical questions were asked regarding my physical and emotional health.
When I first met Monica, immediately I felt at ease. She has this super easy going, open and inviting energy that truly makes you feel that you are safe and in good hands.
Before diving into our session together, she let me know that there was a whole range of activities that were available to me and wanted me to feel into what was possibly a bit challenging but still within my “window of tolerance”. Monica explained that any of the hands on touch practices that she provides to her clients is always dependent on their enthusiastic consent. She reminded me that there was absolutely no pressure to get into some of the touch based exercises and that she would continue to check in with me throughout our session together to see what felt right for me at the time and within my body. She explained that at any time, we could stop or adjust the exercises, even midway through, to best serve my comfort levels and needs. This was truly a safe space where I could comfortably explore, release, and listen to my body at my own pace without any pressure whatsoever.
This was truly a safe space where I could comfortably explore, release, and listen to my body at my own pace without any pressure whatsoever.
First, we began by spending some time sitting and talking together and noting some of my intentions for the session. Then she guided me through a series of exercises related to Bioenergetic release, whereby one activates the sacral pump and the pelvic floor muscles and also invites the voice to make some sound. She explained that when we move the hips, it helps move some of the energetic debris that we tend to hold within our bodies. Monica also noted that sound and breath are very helpful and powerful ways of expelling some of the more challenging emotions and stagnant energies that can coexist within the body.
After engaging in some of the bioenergetic emotional release exercises, we then started to work with smaller spinal movements that were coordinated with the breath. All of the exercises that Monica provides serve as helpful tools to release stagnant energy, as well as give voice to some of the difficult emotions and experiences that one may be carrying within their body. She explained to me that often with an emotion such as grief, there is a tendency to curl inwards and shut down. With some of these heavier emotions, she encourages her clients to try and stay open, to breath deeply and allow for big exhales and sighs to come through the body to allow these emotions to really move through.
De-Armouring and Emotional Release Work
Monica offers a technique called De-armouring which can be very helpful when working with individuals who feel stuck in their erotic expression and feel as though they are carrying energetic blockages within the body. We tend to create armour as we react to the various challenges we are faced with in life. Often, especially in our formative years, we encounter situations that are painful and overwhelming and we develop ways to cope with these experiences.
Monica states that armouring is “any kind of defence (physical, mental or emotional) that has become rigid in the system but no longer serves us in our present journey”.
After these experiences, our body may start to create armour and this might look like chronic pain, muscle tension, suppressed emotions or even repetitive thought patterns which do not serve our highest good. She explains that although there is a physical element of de-armouring, it is quite multilayered and can be physical, emotional or mental. This armour can not only deeply impact the way in which we can fully experience our lives, but also hinder our human right to pleasure itself.
In sexual de-armouring, Monica helps her clients to examine where they might be feeling stuck and assists them in consciously opening these blockages with the use of breathwork techniques, as well as pressure points on the body and parts of the genitals. During this process, clients are asked to notice how they are feeling within the body. What do you feel and where might you be feeling the particular sensation? Where is there sensitivity and where is there numbness? Where is there pleasure? All of these questions are explored deeply through a multitude of techniques that allow the individual to work through complex sensations and feelings. For Monica, one of the major goals of this work is to integrate all of these aspects, so that the body can eventually open itself up to receiving more pleasure.
Monica uses full body touch to give the nervous system a chance to activate. Her one-way touch bodywork techniques allows the individual to take the time to really tune inwards and listen to the various sensations and emotions that arise. This unique opportunity, allows the individual to focus on their own experience and to focus on receiving rather than on thinking about another person or being oriented towards a specific goal (ie. fixating on the goal of climax, rather than on allowing themselves to be in the present moment). Within her work, Monica encourages her clients to be vocal and communicate their needs and desires, as she believes that this is an important part of helping individuals own their desires and step into their sexual sovereignty.
With her loving support and guidance, Monica helps her clients to notice and honour whatever arises and utilizes the combination of breath, movement, sound and touch to hold space for the many emotions and physical reactions that may arise during a session. She hopes that through her work, she is able to provide a unique learning environment where clients can safely engage with themselves, re-establish a more loving relationship with their bodies and reclaim their erotic selves. Through ongoing communication and specialized techniques, Monica creates a safe container where individuals are encouraged to explore themselves fully, be present within their bodies, deeply honour their emotions and begin to create a more mindful, engaged and pleasurable relationship with their bodies.
Connect with Monica
So many different individuals and couples of any gender and sexual orientation can benefit from working with Monica. If learning a bit about this work resonates with you, I encourage you to connect with her to experience and receive some of the amazing benefits that her work can provide. She also offers a complimentary 20 minute phone call to see if her work is the right fit for you.
Please follow the below direct link to learn more about Monica’s offerings and book a session: https://www.monicakovacs.ca/
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